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hey

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[Music]

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blast off on another episode of hero

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paranormal podcast

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broadcasting from the base at la madre

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mountain just south of area 51 my name

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is ryan the original outlaw of the

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airwaves bringing you an epic episode

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today

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darkness the darkness of loss grief and

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the human condition

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we have an amazing guest who has

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literally walked through the valley of

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death and engages readers of her new

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novel the majewski curse

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in a unique way

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very few books can

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i found myself crying as i read the book

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due to how well lisa conveyed the

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feelings and emotions of loss

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the well-written book is a reminder

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of the fleeting nature of life and our

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guaranteed mortality

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what honestly makes our time on this

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planet so very special

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the book is a reminder that love

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conquers all and outlines techniques

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of recovery from loss that are sure to

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help anyone who reads it regardless of

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your circumstance

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i have had the honor of meeting lisa and

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personally can attest to her genuine

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good nature and jovial spirit

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she is an empathetic person with an

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amazing tale culminating

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in her spiritual recovery through

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various practices including essential

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oils

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yoga meditation and quantum physics

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the veil of death is ripped from our

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reality in her book as she explains the

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dark tragedies

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that destroyed a family

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lisa underwent some of the most horrific

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losses anyone could endure between the

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years of 2012 and 2017.

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an unbelievable tale which is almost

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unfathomable

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in her book the majeski curse she

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attacks the very powerful truth

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of how the body can suffer

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from complicated grief

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and

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she explains an eerie curse-like series

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of events

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and how she not only survived but rose

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from the ashes like a phoenix

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despite a seemingly unrecoverable series

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of events

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lisa welcome to the hero paranormal

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podcast

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thank you so much ryan i'm so happy to

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be here

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yeah

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firstly i wanted to congratulate you on

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your new book that is not only so well

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written but a fairly unique work as it

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truly touches the reader in

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thank you so much it was

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an arduous journey at first

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what started out as notes for my

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psychologist just slowly evolved into a

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story it was um

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it it's it's wild and you know

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what motivated you to write the book and

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how did you convince yourself that this

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was

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not only a tale that the world had to

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hear but also an opportunity to help

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people along the way through your

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writing

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oh my goodness um

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well the book started off like i said

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journal writing for my psychologist

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part of cbt is to get your thoughts out

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on paper and to

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try to rid your mind and spirit of the

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terrible emotions that are attached to

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those thoughts so you write and you try

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to reframe the thoughts in your minds

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um but at the same time i realized as i

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was writing well more so as i got closer

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to the end that there was some amazing

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research that i learned over the years

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not so much research as therapy like

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i've tried hypnosis cbt and vr

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talk therapy

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i've had different types of massage

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and i thought oh my goodness how many

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people are exposed to all these

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different types of therapy

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and they probably wouldn't even know

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where to begin

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so at the end i thought well

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this is a sad story and there's so many

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emotions so many people have told me

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about it the story made them cry and i

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thought well i don't want to leave it on

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that note i want to leave it on the end

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a note of healing and to show them that

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you can go through terrible things but

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if you

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can somehow find the strength to

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turn your mind in that direction

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that there can be

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an ending that

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can be positive

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if that sounds right

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yeah

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absolutely and your writing style was

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great the way the book was written you

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really poured your emotions into the

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book and

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um gosh do you mind if i read a small

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portion just to give listeners a taste

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of the writing style and depth of the

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work

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absolutely

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okay it says movies and literature

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always suggest that when someone passes

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away

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the house they died in becomes haunted

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in my heart i wanted so much for that to

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be true the idea

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is not scary if the ghost belongs to

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someone you love

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i would spend hours just thinking about

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devon anxiously looking for any clues of

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his presence

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one late night while standing in the

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kitchen by the window

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that faced the backyard i felt a cold

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gust of wind come from behind me in that

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instant i knew something felt different

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the breeze came out of nowhere

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there were no vents nearby but the cold

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air kept coming

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breathing down my neck at the same time

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i felt warm and comforted hot tears

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flowing like lava down my face and in my

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heart i hoped it was devon or brandon or

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perhaps both

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i had never felt anything like it before

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and never felt it again since but that

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little sign was what i needed

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it was at this point i began to reflect

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on deepak chopra's life after death

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when i first read it it found i found it

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interesting on many levels but the

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theories never resonated with me until

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now

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chopra says there is an abundant

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evidence of the world beyond and that

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death brings us through a door to

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another level of consciousness

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far more importantly he states that who

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you meet in the afterlife and what you

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experience there will reflect your

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present beliefs expectations and level

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of awareness

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many well meaning family members and

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friends gave us numerous books but this

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one

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given to me by our next door neighbor

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stood out to me my concentration was nil

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for quite some time so it took me a

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while to get around to reading it

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however once i did my way of thinking

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changed dramatically and i wanted to

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tell everyone what i had learned

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so awesome and

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um can we give listeners a bit of

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backstory to the amazing work i think

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you've produced how you found yourself

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in this situation and

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maybe how quickly the life you had

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created for yourself seemed to have been

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destroyed by one careless act

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by a distracted driver on a desolate

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country road

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the question of how i got to write the

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story

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yeah like how how you found how you

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found yourself in this situation it just

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it seems like it everything you'd

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created quite a life for yourself and

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gone to great lengths i mean you you had

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done what you could to pre

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almost overly protect everybody involved

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and it seemed like one careless act by a

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distracted driver just kind of shattered

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everything

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oh my goodness that is such so much the

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truth i i life was

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i don't want to say idyllic but it was

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pretty close like we were

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the version of the brady bunch you know

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when i when i met him christopher and

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angelina were both very small angelina

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was almost two christopher was just over

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three

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his children were eight and thirteen

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and when we got together i automatically

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assumed the role of well mom that mom

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and stepmom and um derrick worked as an

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engineer

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and life was idealist you know i ran the

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kids back and forth to cheerleading and

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soccer practices and taekwondo wherever

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they needed to go

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and life is life just marched on it was

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it was beautiful and seamless peaceful

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we lived by the lake

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you know we spent the weekend uh boating

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sailing fishing

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and uh then one day um we decided we're

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gonna move to dennisville we were in

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hamilton it was a fairly busy place in

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hamilton um i had to worry more about

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the kids because there was a lot of

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well

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over half a million people live there

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and we were always traveling back and

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forth to our cottage so we thought hey

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we'll sell the cottage and we'll move up

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to this place called innisfil only 25

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000 people live there nice little quiet

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country town by the lake and a great

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place to have kids

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you know they can have their cities and

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their

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winter and live in the country and it'll

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just be perfect

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and i don't think we lived there we

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moved there in january of 2012. we

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weren't there for a year

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um it was almost halloween and

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everybody was getting ready for

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halloween the kids were at that weekend

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they went to a dance at the local um

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local school nearby they had they had a

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little dance there that they were going

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to where they all dressed up and so i

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ran them over to there and brandon was

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out and about with his friends as was

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typical he was 17 so he was out with the

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local kids from up the street they were

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usually biking or

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building something that was what they

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did but it was very inventive

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he had actually built for that that year

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he had made a tesla coil as crazy as

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that sounds um he spent he had saved his

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money for almost almost six months i

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think it cost him over a thousand

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dollars to

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buy all the copper wire he bought the

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copper wire off online and the ball that

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went with it and we had electricity in

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the garage

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we actually had electricity

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and he's set up by um jack the ripper

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sort of uh statue that i had got from

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costco

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for sam's club and which was on the

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front step and he put a fluorescent

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light bulb in his hand and as the kids

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would come by he would plug it in and it

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would shoot lightning like it would

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light up the um

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the lights and the tesla coil would

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light up the fluorescent bulb and text

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and the it was eyes would light up too

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which was quite fascinating and the kids

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00:11:02,069 --> 00:11:00,079
didn't know where the where the light

286
00:11:03,910 --> 00:11:02,079
came from and they would scream and that

287
00:11:08,870 --> 00:11:03,920
was a lot of fun so anyways going back

288
00:11:12,790 --> 00:11:10,870
later on that night i taken the kids to

289
00:11:14,710 --> 00:11:12,800
their their dance and brandon was out

290
00:11:15,910 --> 00:11:14,720
and i got home quite late uh the date

291
00:11:17,030 --> 00:11:15,920
danced around a little bit later so i

292
00:11:18,870 --> 00:11:17,040
think it was almost midnight by the time

293
00:11:19,910 --> 00:11:18,880
i got everybody settled down

294
00:11:23,430 --> 00:11:19,920
and

295
00:11:25,110 --> 00:11:23,440
hold of him uh which was typical because

296
00:11:26,310 --> 00:11:25,120
a lot of times he just didn't have a

297
00:11:27,750 --> 00:11:26,320
cell phone on because he didn't want to

298
00:11:29,350 --> 00:11:27,760
be got a hold of i think he just wants

299
00:11:32,069 --> 00:11:29,360
to do what he wants to do

300
00:11:33,590 --> 00:11:32,079
as kill those kids that age do so he

301
00:11:35,190 --> 00:11:33,600
went out and i didn't worry too much

302
00:11:36,470 --> 00:11:35,200
about him because they were never

303
00:11:37,590 --> 00:11:36,480
usually doing anything to cause a

304
00:11:40,069 --> 00:11:37,600
concern

305
00:11:42,630 --> 00:11:40,079
so i went to sleep and um

306
00:11:45,269 --> 00:11:42,640
that night uh that night was when it

307
00:11:46,389 --> 00:11:45,279
happened october 28th

308
00:11:48,870 --> 00:11:46,399
um

309
00:11:50,310 --> 00:11:48,880
we had uh that knock at the door that

310
00:11:52,230 --> 00:11:50,320
that mall wasn't actually at the door it

311
00:11:53,750 --> 00:11:52,240
was the garage door because nobody

312
00:11:55,750 --> 00:11:53,760
entered the front door it was one or two

313
00:11:57,670 --> 00:11:55,760
o'clock in the morning very late

314
00:12:01,590 --> 00:11:57,680
and so the banging on the garage door

315
00:12:02,949 --> 00:12:01,600
eventually got the dogs up and um

316
00:12:04,550 --> 00:12:02,959
that was the night that changed

317
00:12:06,470 --> 00:12:04,560
everything forever there we were

318
00:12:07,750 --> 00:12:06,480
standing there and looking at the red

319
00:12:09,590 --> 00:12:07,760
and blue lights and there's a police

320
00:12:10,550 --> 00:12:09,600
officer i think there was three of them

321
00:12:12,870 --> 00:12:10,560
two or three of them standing on the

322
00:12:14,629 --> 00:12:12,880
front doorstep and you immediately know

323
00:12:16,870 --> 00:12:14,639
that this is going to change everything

324
00:12:18,550 --> 00:12:16,880
forever

325
00:12:20,389 --> 00:12:18,560
yeah

326
00:12:22,710 --> 00:12:20,399
and it is like

327
00:12:23,509 --> 00:12:22,720
such a series of twists and turns that

328
00:12:25,829 --> 00:12:23,519
are

329
00:12:27,990 --> 00:12:25,839
truly unexpected even though you and i

330
00:12:29,750 --> 00:12:28,000
have sat down and you've told the story

331
00:12:31,990 --> 00:12:29,760
to me personally

332
00:12:34,310 --> 00:12:32,000
reading the book it is still so very

333
00:12:36,470 --> 00:12:34,320
hard to believe many of the events that

334
00:12:38,230 --> 00:12:36,480
took place and

335
00:12:40,150 --> 00:12:38,240
you know moving to a seemingly safer

336
00:12:42,710 --> 00:12:40,160
location as you said for the benefit of

337
00:12:44,310 --> 00:12:42,720
the family away from crime population

338
00:12:46,710 --> 00:12:44,320
and other scary things

339
00:12:49,430 --> 00:12:46,720
did you ever expect anything that took

340
00:12:52,470 --> 00:12:49,440
place to play out the way it did

341
00:12:54,389 --> 00:12:52,480
oh my goodness no like hamilton

342
00:12:56,710 --> 00:12:54,399
brent brennan was a very unique kid he

343
00:12:58,389 --> 00:12:56,720
liked to ride a unicycle and do things

344
00:13:00,710 --> 00:12:58,399
that weren't very typical for kids his

345
00:13:02,629 --> 00:13:00,720
age so he would ride his unicycle around

346
00:13:04,710 --> 00:13:02,639
and i'd be like oh my goodness and

347
00:13:06,710 --> 00:13:04,720
she had a helmet on with and it sounds

348
00:13:07,990 --> 00:13:06,720
crazy with a light bulb on the top of it

349
00:13:09,670 --> 00:13:08,000
um

350
00:13:11,509 --> 00:13:09,680
and i'd be like oh somebody's gonna hurt

351
00:13:13,750 --> 00:13:11,519
you one day kids can be kids to be a

352
00:13:15,750 --> 00:13:13,760
little bit cruel if you're different but

353
00:13:17,829 --> 00:13:15,760
you know what we moved to a smaller city

354
00:13:19,990 --> 00:13:17,839
that um you know it will it wouldn't do

355
00:13:21,750 --> 00:13:20,000
much better for heaven and uh not that

356
00:13:23,350 --> 00:13:21,760
he wasn't always loved like kids always

357
00:13:24,389 --> 00:13:23,360
there was always a huge group of kids

358
00:13:26,389 --> 00:13:24,399
that thought his ideas and his

359
00:13:28,310 --> 00:13:26,399
interventions were super cool like when

360
00:13:30,710 --> 00:13:28,320
we lived in innisfil um he made friends

361
00:13:32,870 --> 00:13:30,720
right away because um electric bikes

362
00:13:35,269 --> 00:13:32,880
were super popular and a lot of kids

363
00:13:37,030 --> 00:13:35,279
couldn't afford that so brandon had this

364
00:13:38,949 --> 00:13:37,040
unique idea that he would take a weed

365
00:13:41,030 --> 00:13:38,959
whacker motor and he would attach it to

366
00:13:43,750 --> 00:13:41,040
a bicycle and he would turn the bike

367
00:13:45,590 --> 00:13:43,760
into an electric bike which and it did

368
00:13:47,350 --> 00:13:45,600
work it worked very well we had lots of

369
00:13:49,509 --> 00:13:47,360
them awesome

370
00:13:50,470 --> 00:13:49,519
well that was that was very cool

371
00:13:52,470 --> 00:13:50,480
um

372
00:13:54,870 --> 00:13:52,480
but going back to about how i never

373
00:13:56,629 --> 00:13:54,880
expected to happen no not in a million

374
00:13:57,350 --> 00:13:56,639
years um

375
00:13:59,350 --> 00:13:57,360
he

376
00:14:01,430 --> 00:13:59,360
had mentioned to me that his family was

377
00:14:03,189 --> 00:14:01,440
cursed and i was and i'm a very

378
00:14:04,790 --> 00:14:03,199
spiritual person and so i think my

379
00:14:05,910 --> 00:14:04,800
spiritual side was a little bit offended

380
00:14:08,069 --> 00:14:05,920
i was like

381
00:14:09,509 --> 00:14:08,079
you know there's no such thing as curses

382
00:14:10,389 --> 00:14:09,519
why on earth would you even say such a

383
00:14:12,150 --> 00:14:10,399
thing

384
00:14:13,590 --> 00:14:12,160
but then he went on to tell me the same

385
00:14:15,269 --> 00:14:13,600
story that his dad had told me you know

386
00:14:17,750 --> 00:14:15,279
how his grandmother went in for a

387
00:14:19,430 --> 00:14:17,760
routine gold letter operation uh one

388
00:14:21,350 --> 00:14:19,440
that you know thousands of people have

389
00:14:23,350 --> 00:14:21,360
every year and you find that form that

390
00:14:25,030 --> 00:14:23,360
says that you know one in ten thousand

391
00:14:26,230 --> 00:14:25,040
or so people or one and so many thousand

392
00:14:28,310 --> 00:14:26,240
people something will go wrong and

393
00:14:30,629 --> 00:14:28,320
that's why you find that little form

394
00:14:32,710 --> 00:14:30,639
but she was that one and uh they

395
00:14:34,550 --> 00:14:32,720
accidentally nicked her small intestine

396
00:14:36,470 --> 00:14:34,560
and she died of sepsis and she was she

397
00:14:38,710 --> 00:14:36,480
was dead by morning and

398
00:14:40,310 --> 00:14:38,720
and at first i guess nobody knew why but

399
00:14:41,670 --> 00:14:40,320
when they did the blood test they found

400
00:14:43,269 --> 00:14:41,680
out that they that they nicked her small

401
00:14:45,750 --> 00:14:43,279
intestines so

402
00:14:47,829 --> 00:14:45,760
that was a very strange sort of thing to

403
00:14:50,470 --> 00:14:47,839
happen to somebody

404
00:14:54,230 --> 00:14:50,480
unreal and then the events that followed

405
00:14:56,829 --> 00:14:54,240
brandon and then devin and then derek

406
00:14:58,710 --> 00:14:56,839
and there was no more matuski's left

407
00:15:02,710 --> 00:14:58,720
yeah

408
00:15:04,710 --> 00:15:02,720
and you know that was a a part of the

409
00:15:07,350 --> 00:15:04,720
book that just blew me away was yeah

410
00:15:09,670 --> 00:15:07,360
that just the odds and one part of the

411
00:15:11,670 --> 00:15:09,680
book that was extremely shocking and i

412
00:15:12,949 --> 00:15:11,680
believe will be a shocker to anyone that

413
00:15:15,269 --> 00:15:12,959
reads it

414
00:15:17,590 --> 00:15:15,279
is the callous nature of the driver or

415
00:15:19,910 --> 00:15:17,600
culprit in this case it completely

416
00:15:22,389 --> 00:15:19,920
floored me on how

417
00:15:24,389 --> 00:15:22,399
you you so well you you described the

418
00:15:27,509 --> 00:15:24,399
situation and not only

419
00:15:29,910 --> 00:15:27,519
being able like to not put a face

420
00:15:32,629 --> 00:15:29,920
to the quote-unquote killer until much

421
00:15:34,790 --> 00:15:32,639
later than expected but what was it like

422
00:15:36,790 --> 00:15:34,800
dealing with a faceless and seemingly

423
00:15:38,150 --> 00:15:36,800
heartless person in this particular

424
00:15:40,790 --> 00:15:38,160
instance

425
00:15:43,110 --> 00:15:40,800
oh my goodness um

426
00:15:44,389 --> 00:15:43,120
i hurt deeply over what happened to

427
00:15:46,310 --> 00:15:44,399
brandon and devon because even though

428
00:15:47,749 --> 00:15:46,320
they weren't my own i love them i love

429
00:15:49,269 --> 00:15:47,759
them deeply they were in my life since

430
00:15:52,790 --> 00:15:49,279
they were little kids

431
00:15:55,189 --> 00:15:52,800
um but this pain that derek experienced

432
00:15:56,790 --> 00:15:55,199
and watching him almost

433
00:15:58,310 --> 00:15:56,800
staring and and

434
00:16:01,110 --> 00:15:58,320
he thought in his mind actually that

435
00:16:03,509 --> 00:16:01,120
charlene simon would come and would come

436
00:16:05,110 --> 00:16:03,519
to that house and give an apology that

437
00:16:07,590 --> 00:16:05,120
was what he honestly believed in his

438
00:16:09,990 --> 00:16:07,600
mind which i remember thinking that

439
00:16:11,189 --> 00:16:10,000
my goodness i i i can't imagine her

440
00:16:13,030 --> 00:16:11,199
doing that

441
00:16:14,470 --> 00:16:13,040
um because how would you say somebody

442
00:16:16,150 --> 00:16:14,480
after you killed their child i remember

443
00:16:17,829 --> 00:16:16,160
thinking you know don't get your hopes

444
00:16:19,590 --> 00:16:17,839
up how you know that that would be a

445
00:16:21,509 --> 00:16:19,600
terribly hard thing for somebody to do

446
00:16:22,790 --> 00:16:21,519
right um

447
00:16:25,509 --> 00:16:22,800
so

448
00:16:27,350 --> 00:16:25,519
angelina um our youngest daughter had a

449
00:16:29,030 --> 00:16:27,360
friend who lives nearby on booth avenue

450
00:16:31,030 --> 00:16:29,040
where charlene lives which is only a

451
00:16:32,310 --> 00:16:31,040
small little town so five minutes from

452
00:16:33,269 --> 00:16:32,320
our house

453
00:16:35,430 --> 00:16:33,279
um

454
00:16:37,509 --> 00:16:35,440
there was more than once that i admit

455
00:16:39,350 --> 00:16:37,519
that i dropped her off at this girl's

456
00:16:40,629 --> 00:16:39,360
house because i knew where charlie lived

457
00:16:42,870 --> 00:16:40,639
and she didn't move for a good six

458
00:16:45,350 --> 00:16:42,880
months until after it happened

459
00:16:46,949 --> 00:16:45,360
uh i would sit outside her house

460
00:16:48,069 --> 00:16:46,959
and a couple of times angelina would

461
00:16:49,829 --> 00:16:48,079
come and knock on the window and be like

462
00:16:51,590 --> 00:16:49,839
mom why are you sitting here i'd be like

463
00:16:53,670 --> 00:16:51,600
i just want to see your face

464
00:16:55,110 --> 00:16:53,680
i just want to see what she looks like

465
00:16:56,550 --> 00:16:55,120
i'm not going to attack her i'm not

466
00:16:59,030 --> 00:16:56,560
going to yell at her i'm not going to do

467
00:17:01,749 --> 00:16:59,040
anything i just want to see her face for

468
00:17:03,990 --> 00:17:01,759
sure but i never did get that um i never

469
00:17:05,909 --> 00:17:04,000
did get that justice i i just wanted to

470
00:17:09,189 --> 00:17:05,919
look at her i wanted to

471
00:17:11,029 --> 00:17:09,199
put a face to the person who

472
00:17:13,590 --> 00:17:11,039
changed our life i guess that's what i

473
00:17:15,189 --> 00:17:13,600
want to say yeah um

474
00:17:17,429 --> 00:17:15,199
but then

475
00:17:19,590 --> 00:17:17,439
what she did that followed

476
00:17:21,990 --> 00:17:19,600
to actually

477
00:17:23,270 --> 00:17:22,000
soothe the family

478
00:17:28,470 --> 00:17:23,280
that

479
00:17:29,510 --> 00:17:28,480
words for destruction and the fallout

480
00:17:33,590 --> 00:17:29,520
that happened

481
00:17:36,150 --> 00:17:33,600
with those powers actions yes

482
00:17:38,789 --> 00:17:36,160
oh my gosh and i totally get putting a

483
00:17:42,150 --> 00:17:38,799
face to it and the lawsuit section of

484
00:17:43,029 --> 00:17:42,160
the book was such an unexpected twist i

485
00:17:45,909 --> 00:17:43,039
don't think

486
00:17:48,950 --> 00:17:45,919
anyone could ever see that part coming

487
00:17:50,390 --> 00:17:48,960
and talk about complete upheaval of

488
00:17:53,270 --> 00:17:50,400
everything that could possibly seem

489
00:17:55,510 --> 00:17:53,280
rational absolutely unexpected and not

490
00:17:57,350 --> 00:17:55,520
only by yourselves but even the lawyer

491
00:18:00,150 --> 00:17:57,360
for the case i mean i think that portion

492
00:18:02,710 --> 00:18:00,160
of the book really goes to show how

493
00:18:05,190 --> 00:18:02,720
truly perverse the law and judicial

494
00:18:06,950 --> 00:18:05,200
system can really become can we go into

495
00:18:09,830 --> 00:18:06,960
that a bit

496
00:18:11,270 --> 00:18:09,840
oh of course i can't talk um 100 about

497
00:18:13,590 --> 00:18:11,280
it but i can definitely speak about it

498
00:18:16,150 --> 00:18:13,600
for sure for sure our lawyer at the time

499
00:18:17,669 --> 00:18:16,160
brian cameron um a very prestigious law

500
00:18:19,510 --> 00:18:17,679
firm here well good luck for him here in

501
00:18:21,750 --> 00:18:19,520
berry oakley figmen

502
00:18:23,909 --> 00:18:21,760
um he has said that in all of his years

503
00:18:25,909 --> 00:18:23,919
of processing that he has never

504
00:18:27,750 --> 00:18:25,919
experienced such a case he said it went

505
00:18:29,909 --> 00:18:27,760
far beyond the tale

506
00:18:32,230 --> 00:18:29,919
no no he said in all of his years he had

507
00:18:34,070 --> 00:18:32,240
never experienced a case in where a

508
00:18:36,710 --> 00:18:34,080
driver of a vehicle had turned around

509
00:18:39,430 --> 00:18:36,720
and sued the family of the child that

510
00:18:40,870 --> 00:18:39,440
she herself had killed

511
00:18:43,590 --> 00:18:40,880
and at the time we didn't know that it

512
00:18:45,430 --> 00:18:43,600
was a police officer's wife that had hit

513
00:18:46,789 --> 00:18:45,440
brandon we didn't know anything about

514
00:18:48,950 --> 00:18:46,799
the driver and the fact that she was

515
00:18:50,950 --> 00:18:48,960
somebody who lived close by

516
00:18:53,110 --> 00:18:50,960
but because it's such a very small town

517
00:18:55,669 --> 00:18:53,120
it didn't take long before the local

518
00:18:57,669 --> 00:18:55,679
residents started coming forward or i'm

519
00:18:59,110 --> 00:18:57,679
messaging me on facebook the messages

520
00:19:01,029 --> 00:18:59,120
started to pour in

521
00:19:03,830 --> 00:19:01,039
and then all of a sudden things start to

522
00:19:04,950 --> 00:19:03,840
make a little bit more sense

523
00:19:05,909 --> 00:19:04,960
yeah

524
00:19:08,470 --> 00:19:05,919
and

525
00:19:10,070 --> 00:19:08,480
uh well really i mean

526
00:19:12,150 --> 00:19:10,080
in a part of the book you really painted

527
00:19:14,549 --> 00:19:12,160
a descriptive image of what took place

528
00:19:15,510 --> 00:19:14,559
that fateful night on innisfil beach

529
00:19:17,990 --> 00:19:15,520
road

530
00:19:20,150 --> 00:19:18,000
and i felt like i was really taken there

531
00:19:21,510 --> 00:19:20,160
and could almost sense the speed with

532
00:19:23,590 --> 00:19:21,520
which the car was

533
00:19:25,750 --> 00:19:23,600
traveling not to mention

534
00:19:27,029 --> 00:19:25,760
the creepiness of the vehicle following

535
00:19:29,909 --> 00:19:27,039
the car

536
00:19:32,230 --> 00:19:29,919
having had experiences myself with small

537
00:19:34,230 --> 00:19:32,240
town police forces and understanding

538
00:19:36,870 --> 00:19:34,240
it's all about who you know in many

539
00:19:38,470 --> 00:19:36,880
cases did you ever feel like the cards

540
00:19:39,830 --> 00:19:38,480
were just totally stacked against you

541
00:19:41,270 --> 00:19:39,840
and how did you manage to get through

542
00:19:43,110 --> 00:19:41,280
that

543
00:19:45,110 --> 00:19:43,120
oh my goodness um

544
00:19:47,029 --> 00:19:45,120
at first when you when we were we were

545
00:19:49,669 --> 00:19:47,039
so stuck in greece at the very beginning

546
00:19:51,909 --> 00:19:49,679
when brandon was first killed that

547
00:19:53,190 --> 00:19:51,919
it was really easy to push us off and

548
00:19:54,789 --> 00:19:53,200
you just kind of

549
00:19:56,870 --> 00:19:54,799
you know there's nothing to see here

550
00:19:58,870 --> 00:19:56,880
sort of thing um because you don't

551
00:20:00,950 --> 00:19:58,880
really understand you're just kind of

552
00:20:02,630 --> 00:20:00,960
you're you're thrown into this state of

553
00:20:04,710 --> 00:20:02,640
emotions where you're just you're

554
00:20:06,070 --> 00:20:04,720
grace-stricken and you're sad

555
00:20:07,590 --> 00:20:06,080
and you're confused and you don't

556
00:20:09,990 --> 00:20:07,600
understand what happens and you don't

557
00:20:12,070 --> 00:20:10,000
understand why you can't get any answers

558
00:20:13,909 --> 00:20:12,080
um and it wasn't until that newspaper

559
00:20:15,750 --> 00:20:13,919
article hits the newspaper

560
00:20:17,190 --> 00:20:15,760
uh that that that was the first thing

561
00:20:20,070 --> 00:20:17,200
that was the first clue to me when the

562
00:20:21,990 --> 00:20:20,080
news when the celtical police issued a

563
00:20:24,470 --> 00:20:22,000
newspaper article saying that the boys

564
00:20:26,470 --> 00:20:24,480
were at a bush party um they were coming

565
00:20:28,149 --> 00:20:26,480
home from there they were likely

566
00:20:29,990 --> 00:20:28,159
intoxicated

567
00:20:31,669 --> 00:20:30,000
it painted them in the most horrible way

568
00:20:33,590 --> 00:20:31,679
thing was a dark night

569
00:20:35,430 --> 00:20:33,600
when everything that they said was not

570
00:20:37,029 --> 00:20:35,440
true they said they had no reflectors

571
00:20:39,430 --> 00:20:37,039
they had no helmets

572
00:20:40,390 --> 00:20:39,440
um i could clearly have clear pictures

573
00:20:42,549 --> 00:20:40,400
of the

574
00:20:44,470 --> 00:20:42,559
um a brandon's belongings i picked up

575
00:20:47,430 --> 00:20:44,480
from the south side police station his

576
00:20:49,430 --> 00:20:47,440
yamaha leather jacket had sprites um an

577
00:20:51,750 --> 00:20:49,440
x on the back with reflectors he had a

578
00:20:52,950 --> 00:20:51,760
helmet richard had a yellow jacket

579
00:20:54,070 --> 00:20:52,960
bright yellow

580
00:20:55,430 --> 00:20:54,080
um

581
00:20:57,590 --> 00:20:55,440
they they said they said the most

582
00:20:59,029 --> 00:20:57,600
horrible thing there's a moonlit night

583
00:21:00,789 --> 00:20:59,039
they were not at a busch party they had

584
00:21:02,230 --> 00:21:00,799
first headed out to go out for a hot dog

585
00:21:04,390 --> 00:21:02,240
at the corner of yonge street which was

586
00:21:05,830 --> 00:21:04,400
closed so they went way further than

587
00:21:07,350 --> 00:21:05,840
they normally would have they had it up

588
00:21:09,750 --> 00:21:07,360
in a still beach road towards the tim

589
00:21:11,669 --> 00:21:09,760
hortons which they made it to they had

590
00:21:13,029 --> 00:21:11,679
their coffee and i've had messages from

591
00:21:15,270 --> 00:21:13,039
the same some ladies that worked with

592
00:21:17,029 --> 00:21:15,280
tim hortons that were just very so

593
00:21:18,549 --> 00:21:17,039
distraught saying you know my goodness i

594
00:21:20,470 --> 00:21:18,559
saw them i wish i would have given them

595
00:21:22,390 --> 00:21:20,480
a ride or so on

596
00:21:24,870 --> 00:21:22,400
so they left from there they they were

597
00:21:27,990 --> 00:21:24,880
hit on their way back um coming back

598
00:21:30,149 --> 00:21:28,000
home towards home from behind

599
00:21:32,310 --> 00:21:30,159
by charlene simon who was being followed

600
00:21:33,270 --> 00:21:32,320
by our police officer husbands

601
00:21:35,190 --> 00:21:33,280
and

602
00:21:36,710 --> 00:21:35,200
they were hit with a seat with with

603
00:21:38,950 --> 00:21:36,720
enough speed that brandon was thrown

604
00:21:42,310 --> 00:21:38,960
over 350 seats

605
00:21:44,630 --> 00:21:42,320
um and she tried to say at the time

606
00:21:46,710 --> 00:21:44,640
that she thought she hit an animal uh

607
00:21:49,990 --> 00:21:46,720
she didn't have her glasses on

608
00:21:51,830 --> 00:21:50,000
she um she wasn't paying attention she

609
00:21:53,590 --> 00:21:51,840
didn't know what happened she was doing

610
00:21:55,590 --> 00:21:53,600
a 90 and an 80

611
00:21:57,270 --> 00:21:55,600
when the engineers reports that came out

612
00:21:59,669 --> 00:21:57,280
later that we had much later on down the

613
00:22:00,549 --> 00:21:59,679
road showed us that she was quite easily

614
00:22:03,990 --> 00:22:00,559
doing

615
00:22:05,590 --> 00:22:04,000
estimated anywhere between 103 and 118.

616
00:22:07,669 --> 00:22:05,600
um and

617
00:22:10,310 --> 00:22:07,679
they were and just based on how far that

618
00:22:11,750 --> 00:22:10,320
brand was actually thrown

619
00:22:15,350 --> 00:22:11,760
wow

620
00:22:17,430 --> 00:22:15,360
i mean like serious speed and

621
00:22:20,870 --> 00:22:17,440
you know it

622
00:22:23,029 --> 00:22:20,880
the the book i i was really like the the

623
00:22:25,270 --> 00:22:23,039
highlights of the book like

624
00:22:27,029 --> 00:22:25,280
just for listeners to know like the

625
00:22:29,110 --> 00:22:27,039
highs of the book

626
00:22:31,110 --> 00:22:29,120
totally outweigh the lows of the book

627
00:22:33,750 --> 00:22:31,120
it's it's really

628
00:22:35,430 --> 00:22:33,760
it just goes to show how how amazing the

629
00:22:36,870 --> 00:22:35,440
human spirit is and i was really

630
00:22:38,470 --> 00:22:36,880
impressed with

631
00:22:41,350 --> 00:22:38,480
how you held it together throughout the

632
00:22:43,350 --> 00:22:41,360
tragedies in and

633
00:22:45,270 --> 00:22:43,360
was there ever a time you felt like you

634
00:22:46,390 --> 00:22:45,280
just couldn't do it anymore after all it

635
00:22:48,310 --> 00:22:46,400
seemed like

636
00:22:49,669 --> 00:22:48,320
you single-handedly held the family

637
00:22:52,230 --> 00:22:49,679
together and

638
00:22:55,190 --> 00:22:52,240
if you did have those feelings how did

639
00:22:57,909 --> 00:22:55,200
you overcome it all and and continue you

640
00:22:59,029 --> 00:22:57,919
know trudging onward

641
00:23:01,270 --> 00:22:59,039
oh

642
00:23:02,710 --> 00:23:01,280
there were times where honestly i i'll

643
00:23:04,630 --> 00:23:02,720
be honest there were times i did want to

644
00:23:06,549 --> 00:23:04,640
give up or where i just thought there

645
00:23:07,669 --> 00:23:06,559
just wasn't anything left inside of me

646
00:23:10,950 --> 00:23:07,679
anymore

647
00:23:12,870 --> 00:23:10,960
but i knew that

648
00:23:14,789 --> 00:23:12,880
not to sound not to sound like it was

649
00:23:16,549 --> 00:23:14,799
only me but it was only me holding the

650
00:23:18,870 --> 00:23:16,559
families together at one point

651
00:23:20,950 --> 00:23:18,880
christopher and angelina needed me they

652
00:23:22,870 --> 00:23:20,960
themselves were only 10 and 13 when it

653
00:23:25,190 --> 00:23:22,880
all happened they were so young

654
00:23:28,390 --> 00:23:25,200
derek was just oh

655
00:23:31,190 --> 00:23:28,400
he after brandon he really tried to get

656
00:23:32,710 --> 00:23:31,200
back on his feet again he he was very

657
00:23:35,029 --> 00:23:32,720
he's very much proud of the fact he was

658
00:23:36,870 --> 00:23:35,039
an engineer he loved his job he wanted

659
00:23:39,590 --> 00:23:36,880
to get back to work and after brandon

660
00:23:41,990 --> 00:23:39,600
died he really did struggle like he he

661
00:23:44,070 --> 00:23:42,000
he fell apart for a few months but

662
00:23:45,669 --> 00:23:44,080
at about four about four months he

663
00:23:47,750 --> 00:23:45,679
decided that he'd be back on his feet he

664
00:23:49,190 --> 00:23:47,760
was getting it back to work and

665
00:23:50,470 --> 00:23:49,200
he was going to throw himself into that

666
00:23:52,070 --> 00:23:50,480
and and his employers were very

667
00:23:53,590 --> 00:23:52,080
sympathetic to his struggles you know he

668
00:23:55,269 --> 00:23:53,600
would break down and cry at work science

669
00:23:57,029 --> 00:23:55,279
is you know i hear from his co-workers

670
00:23:58,870 --> 00:23:57,039
that he was having a hard time but he

671
00:24:01,909 --> 00:23:58,880
really did trudge through it

672
00:24:05,190 --> 00:24:01,919
um it was after devin's death uh after

673
00:24:07,590 --> 00:24:05,200
devin died after that that

674
00:24:09,269 --> 00:24:07,600
i think that he

675
00:24:11,190 --> 00:24:09,279
he just was having a very hard time

676
00:24:12,549 --> 00:24:11,200
holding on he

677
00:24:14,230 --> 00:24:12,559
he

678
00:24:16,470 --> 00:24:14,240
devin was

679
00:24:18,950 --> 00:24:16,480
and as strange as it sounds after

680
00:24:20,710 --> 00:24:18,960
brandon died i remember a night very

681
00:24:22,870 --> 00:24:20,720
clearly where he threw his arms around

682
00:24:24,230 --> 00:24:22,880
devon and and i think that they were i

683
00:24:26,070 --> 00:24:24,240
think that they were they were sitting

684
00:24:27,269 --> 00:24:26,080
down they were having a glass of wine

685
00:24:28,789 --> 00:24:27,279
and he just said to me you know what

686
00:24:30,390 --> 00:24:28,799
don't you ever leave me

687
00:24:33,510 --> 00:24:30,400
mm-hmm kind of

688
00:24:34,710 --> 00:24:33,520
you're allowed that sort of thing um

689
00:24:35,990 --> 00:24:34,720
and

690
00:24:37,430 --> 00:24:36,000
that really i put that in the book as

691
00:24:39,269 --> 00:24:37,440
well because i really stuck out in my

692
00:24:41,909 --> 00:24:39,279
mind because

693
00:24:43,430 --> 00:24:41,919
wow what a cruel what a cruel cruel

694
00:24:45,350 --> 00:24:43,440
horrible thing

695
00:24:47,510 --> 00:24:45,360
for devon to go

696
00:24:49,269 --> 00:24:47,520
as well right after

697
00:24:52,549 --> 00:24:49,279
oh my goodness

698
00:24:54,070 --> 00:24:52,559
sorry yes yes but then after devon and

699
00:24:56,230 --> 00:24:54,080
then and then there was the lawsuit

700
00:24:57,830 --> 00:24:56,240
after and the lawsuit was the final

701
00:25:00,789 --> 00:24:57,840
straw that was the straw that broke the

702
00:25:03,590 --> 00:25:00,799
camel's back that was when he just any

703
00:25:05,190 --> 00:25:03,600
sadness he had inside of him just turned

704
00:25:07,590 --> 00:25:05,200
to fury

705
00:25:08,710 --> 00:25:07,600
fearing and anger

706
00:25:10,630 --> 00:25:08,720
and

707
00:25:13,269 --> 00:25:10,640
at that point i had heard a lot of you

708
00:25:14,789 --> 00:25:13,279
know time heals all wounds to be patient

709
00:25:16,070 --> 00:25:14,799
you know the person that the person that

710
00:25:18,149 --> 00:25:16,080
you love is going to come back to you

711
00:25:19,510 --> 00:25:18,159
you know he's in there he's in there

712
00:25:20,950 --> 00:25:19,520
he's gonna he's gonna come back don't

713
00:25:21,909 --> 00:25:20,960
worry it'll be okay

714
00:25:24,230 --> 00:25:21,919
yeah um

715
00:25:26,549 --> 00:25:24,240
but after that lawsuit

716
00:25:27,669 --> 00:25:26,559
i knew it was not gonna be okay

717
00:25:36,630 --> 00:25:27,679
i

718
00:25:39,590 --> 00:25:36,640
um

719
00:25:42,390 --> 00:25:39,600
the confusion that he had before over

720
00:25:43,430 --> 00:25:42,400
what had happened now

721
00:25:48,789 --> 00:25:43,440
just

722
00:25:51,510 --> 00:25:48,799
scary and that's when it became very

723
00:25:54,149 --> 00:25:51,520
hard to hold the family together

724
00:25:56,710 --> 00:25:54,159
and that's when the council

725
00:25:58,950 --> 00:25:56,720
really really were kind of my godsend

726
00:26:01,110 --> 00:25:58,960
that i have to thank them so much my

727
00:26:03,830 --> 00:26:01,120
grief counselors that i had

728
00:26:05,269 --> 00:26:03,840
they were my savior um

729
00:26:07,029 --> 00:26:05,279
i really look forward to them coming

730
00:26:08,950 --> 00:26:07,039
every week and much as derek didn't want

731
00:26:10,470 --> 00:26:08,960
to participate anymore because he was

732
00:26:12,230 --> 00:26:10,480
out at that point he didn't no longer

733
00:26:13,669 --> 00:26:12,240
want to be part of the group therapy he

734
00:26:16,710 --> 00:26:13,679
was angry that my children were still

735
00:26:17,510 --> 00:26:16,720
alive um he resented them

736
00:26:19,430 --> 00:26:17,520
not

737
00:26:21,750 --> 00:26:19,440
purposely but he resented the fact that

738
00:26:25,190 --> 00:26:21,760
they still lived and his didn't

739
00:26:27,430 --> 00:26:25,200
um so that was very difficult

740
00:26:29,350 --> 00:26:27,440
but i still i still had hope so i still

741
00:26:30,630 --> 00:26:29,360
had hope and i still tried to shot i

742
00:26:32,549 --> 00:26:30,640
took them to the caesar center for

743
00:26:34,789 --> 00:26:32,559
grieving kids i told them you know dad's

744
00:26:35,990 --> 00:26:34,799
struggling right now but just give him

745
00:26:37,350 --> 00:26:36,000
some time

746
00:26:39,190 --> 00:26:37,360
you know

747
00:26:41,110 --> 00:26:39,200
he just can't cope he just can't cope

748
00:26:43,350 --> 00:26:41,120
but it's going to be okay

749
00:26:44,710 --> 00:26:43,360
and

750
00:27:01,990 --> 00:26:44,720
i

751
00:27:04,549 --> 00:27:02,000
mm-hmm

752
00:27:08,789 --> 00:27:04,559
absolutely

753
00:27:10,549 --> 00:27:08,799
yeah for sure it it's um

754
00:27:12,950 --> 00:27:10,559
you know there's a part of the book and

755
00:27:14,149 --> 00:27:12,960
i can't find it that was pretty amazing

756
00:27:16,950 --> 00:27:14,159
to me

757
00:27:18,630 --> 00:27:16,960
where you you mention and i can relate

758
00:27:19,430 --> 00:27:18,640
with so much what you're saying but

759
00:27:22,710 --> 00:27:19,440
there's

760
00:27:24,149 --> 00:27:22,720
i i had a sister who passed away and my

761
00:27:26,789 --> 00:27:24,159
mom i mean i

762
00:27:28,950 --> 00:27:26,799
you know you often hear you know that

763
00:27:30,630 --> 00:27:28,960
the worst thing a parent can have happen

764
00:27:32,950 --> 00:27:30,640
is to lose

765
00:27:35,190 --> 00:27:32,960
a son or daughter and

766
00:27:37,669 --> 00:27:35,200
you know my mom had the hardest time

767
00:27:39,750 --> 00:27:37,679
getting over it and um i don't know if

768
00:27:42,549 --> 00:27:39,760
you're ever really over it and i i

769
00:27:44,630 --> 00:27:42,559
attribute a stroke she had you know to

770
00:27:47,269 --> 00:27:44,640
some of that stress and and that was

771
00:27:48,549 --> 00:27:47,279
just one that was just one

772
00:27:51,190 --> 00:27:48,559
you know daughter

773
00:27:52,149 --> 00:27:51,200
so i i can only imagine

774
00:27:54,470 --> 00:27:52,159
um

775
00:27:57,029 --> 00:27:54,480
you know this i mean you were literally

776
00:27:58,789 --> 00:27:57,039
holding the family together um there's a

777
00:28:00,549 --> 00:27:58,799
part of the book

778
00:28:02,630 --> 00:28:00,559
and eventually i'll find it but i can't

779
00:28:05,430 --> 00:28:02,640
find it but there it was such a good

780
00:28:07,510 --> 00:28:05,440
good phrase that you use that when when

781
00:28:09,830 --> 00:28:07,520
a human being encounters loss that's

782
00:28:14,389 --> 00:28:09,840
when we really get in like

783
00:28:15,830 --> 00:28:14,399
contact or connection with everything

784
00:28:17,110 --> 00:28:15,840
there was a really interesting phrase

785
00:28:19,830 --> 00:28:17,120
that was said to me and it sticks in my

786
00:28:22,230 --> 00:28:19,840
mind to this day i had a counselor um

787
00:28:24,950 --> 00:28:22,240
her name was brianna she had a group

788
00:28:26,630 --> 00:28:24,960
called compassionate healing and it was

789
00:28:28,710 --> 00:28:26,640
for people that had ptsd and they

790
00:28:30,630 --> 00:28:28,720
suffered different types of trauma

791
00:28:32,710 --> 00:28:30,640
and the one thing that she said to me

792
00:28:35,190 --> 00:28:32,720
because she witnessed firsthand the type

793
00:28:37,430 --> 00:28:35,200
of anger and she called a toxic stew of

794
00:28:39,110 --> 00:28:37,440
emotions that derek was experiencing

795
00:28:41,830 --> 00:28:39,120
and she told me

796
00:28:43,510 --> 00:28:41,840
that he was vibrating very very low and

797
00:28:45,269 --> 00:28:43,520
she said you're vibrating very high she

798
00:28:47,269 --> 00:28:45,279
said i can feel it and what's going to

799
00:28:49,430 --> 00:28:47,279
happen if you don't ask for protection

800
00:28:51,190 --> 00:28:49,440
if he's going to suck all of the

801
00:28:52,549 --> 00:28:51,200
goodness out of you because he's not

802
00:28:55,190 --> 00:28:52,559
going to mean to

803
00:28:57,430 --> 00:28:55,200
but he will naturally gravitate towards

804
00:28:59,830 --> 00:28:57,440
you to try and go and he will he will

805
00:29:02,149 --> 00:28:59,840
hit you with his words he will

806
00:29:03,750 --> 00:29:02,159
do whatever he can to try to pull that

807
00:29:05,669 --> 00:29:03,760
good energy out of you

808
00:29:06,950 --> 00:29:05,679
and he won't mean to but that's when i

809
00:29:08,870 --> 00:29:06,960
first started to really understand

810
00:29:10,950 --> 00:29:08,880
quantum physics and i started to really

811
00:29:14,149 --> 00:29:10,960
read about it and so whenever i could

812
00:29:15,510 --> 00:29:14,159
feel um that happening i would cross my

813
00:29:17,269 --> 00:29:15,520
arms over myself almost as if i was

814
00:29:19,669 --> 00:29:17,279
giving myself a hug

815
00:29:20,630 --> 00:29:19,679
and i would ask for protection and i i

816
00:29:22,789 --> 00:29:20,640
said to her i'm like who do i ask for

817
00:29:24,789 --> 00:29:22,799
protection from and she said well

818
00:29:28,070 --> 00:29:24,799
whoever it is that you believe in

819
00:29:31,029 --> 00:29:28,080
a creator of sorts it could be god

820
00:29:32,950 --> 00:29:31,039
um it could be whatever it is that you

821
00:29:35,750 --> 00:29:32,960
feel will give you peace

822
00:29:37,909 --> 00:29:35,760
after protection from that source and

823
00:29:40,470 --> 00:29:37,919
that's what i would do and honestly

824
00:29:42,310 --> 00:29:40,480
whether it be mind over matter it helps

825
00:29:43,190 --> 00:29:42,320
it helps a lot

826
00:29:45,990 --> 00:29:43,200
yeah

827
00:29:48,070 --> 00:29:46,000
and i think it is i i really think it is

828
00:29:49,990 --> 00:29:48,080
mind over matter and

829
00:29:51,990 --> 00:29:50,000
you know it's a lot like a drowning

830
00:29:54,630 --> 00:29:52,000
person they will whether they want to or

831
00:29:57,909 --> 00:29:54,640
not they're going to grab on to the one

832
00:29:59,269 --> 00:29:57,919
that's floating you know for their own

833
00:30:01,510 --> 00:29:59,279
they they're just trying to save

834
00:30:03,430 --> 00:30:01,520
themselves and that became really

835
00:30:04,549 --> 00:30:03,440
apparent in the book

836
00:30:06,310 --> 00:30:04,559
um

837
00:30:09,029 --> 00:30:06,320
i really wanted to hit

838
00:30:10,230 --> 00:30:09,039
home some of the methods you use to drag

839
00:30:12,549 --> 00:30:10,240
yourself

840
00:30:15,510 --> 00:30:12,559
from this seemingly insurmountable

841
00:30:17,269 --> 00:30:15,520
despair and series of events it was so

842
00:30:18,470 --> 00:30:17,279
nice to read that part of the book that

843
00:30:20,630 --> 00:30:18,480
dealt with

844
00:30:23,430 --> 00:30:20,640
overcoming it all and i wanted to get

845
00:30:25,590 --> 00:30:23,440
into the there was a couple um things

846
00:30:27,190 --> 00:30:25,600
that i think listeners may have not have

847
00:30:28,950 --> 00:30:27,200
heard of that

848
00:30:31,350 --> 00:30:28,960
uh through through this tragedy you

849
00:30:34,149 --> 00:30:31,360
became aware of one was the cognitive

850
00:30:36,389 --> 00:30:34,159
behavioral therapy or cbt

851
00:30:40,470 --> 00:30:36,399
and the other one was the eye movement

852
00:30:43,269 --> 00:30:40,480
desensitization and reprocessing or emdr

853
00:30:45,510 --> 00:30:43,279
as effective methods for ptsd those are

854
00:30:46,789 --> 00:30:45,520
methods most people aren't aware of and

855
00:30:50,230 --> 00:30:46,799
i was wondering if you could explain

856
00:30:51,830 --> 00:30:50,240
them a bit to listeners

857
00:30:54,149 --> 00:30:51,840
there were so many different therapies

858
00:30:56,310 --> 00:30:54,159
that they tried at one point um

859
00:30:58,549 --> 00:30:56,320
talk therapy is extremely helpful at

860
00:31:00,389 --> 00:30:58,559
least for the very beginning um even

861
00:31:02,389 --> 00:31:00,399
though it seemed very redundant after a

862
00:31:03,909 --> 00:31:02,399
while they call it exposure type of

863
00:31:05,909 --> 00:31:03,919
therapy where you just kind of keep

864
00:31:07,590 --> 00:31:05,919
talking about the same events that

865
00:31:09,909 --> 00:31:07,600
caused you to stress in the first place

866
00:31:11,269 --> 00:31:09,919
you keep regurgitating it over and over

867
00:31:12,310 --> 00:31:11,279
and over again to the point of where

868
00:31:14,549 --> 00:31:12,320
you're like oh my goodness how can i

869
00:31:16,710 --> 00:31:14,559
talk about this anymore but the idea of

870
00:31:17,509 --> 00:31:16,720
that is they call it exposure to get it

871
00:31:19,669 --> 00:31:17,519
out

872
00:31:21,830 --> 00:31:19,679
and to allow you to experience it and

873
00:31:23,430 --> 00:31:21,840
become at peace with it so that part is

874
00:31:24,630 --> 00:31:23,440
really good um

875
00:31:27,269 --> 00:31:24,640
and then they take you to something

876
00:31:28,710 --> 00:31:27,279
called emdr where

877
00:31:30,230 --> 00:31:28,720
you're either sitting there with it

878
00:31:32,389 --> 00:31:30,240
could be a pop bottle it could be a

879
00:31:33,909 --> 00:31:32,399
tennis ball it could be different types

880
00:31:35,750 --> 00:31:33,919
of thing and they'll either throw the

881
00:31:38,389 --> 00:31:35,760
ball back and forth to you while you're

882
00:31:40,710 --> 00:31:38,399
talking about traumatic events or you'll

883
00:31:42,470 --> 00:31:40,720
turn that bottle of coke you'll turn it

884
00:31:43,909 --> 00:31:42,480
left turn it right turn it left turn it

885
00:31:45,269 --> 00:31:43,919
right as you're speaking about the

886
00:31:46,950 --> 00:31:45,279
traumatic events

887
00:31:48,630 --> 00:31:46,960
and you keep talking about it you keep

888
00:31:50,230 --> 00:31:48,640
talking through it but eventually they

889
00:31:52,950 --> 00:31:50,240
talking about ways that you're going to

890
00:31:54,549 --> 00:31:52,960
overcome the problem or trying to change

891
00:31:55,830 --> 00:31:54,559
your way of thinking so that you take

892
00:31:57,909 --> 00:31:55,840
the negative thought that you have

893
00:32:00,389 --> 00:31:57,919
associated with that problem and as the

894
00:32:01,750 --> 00:32:00,399
ball is being thrown back to you you're

895
00:32:03,669 --> 00:32:01,760
you've replaced that thought with a

896
00:32:05,350 --> 00:32:03,679
positive thought so that eventually

897
00:32:07,269 --> 00:32:05,360
you're if you're in essence sort of

898
00:32:07,990 --> 00:32:07,279
reprogramming your mind

899
00:32:11,190 --> 00:32:08,000
to

900
00:32:13,029 --> 00:32:11,200
not associate the trauma with a negative

901
00:32:15,029 --> 00:32:13,039
experience to

902
00:32:17,190 --> 00:32:15,039
if that makes sense to do associated

903
00:32:18,389 --> 00:32:17,200
trauma with something positive

904
00:32:20,549 --> 00:32:18,399
to this day

905
00:32:22,310 --> 00:32:20,559
when i remember what's happened to me i

906
00:32:24,549 --> 00:32:22,320
can i can talk about it without tearing

907
00:32:26,310 --> 00:32:24,559
up i can talk about it i i want to

908
00:32:28,630 --> 00:32:26,320
picture brandon and devin i don't

909
00:32:30,470 --> 00:32:28,640
picture devin laying on that bed anymore

910
00:32:32,870 --> 00:32:30,480
like i used to i used to be at lenses to

911
00:32:34,389 --> 00:32:32,880
see him i would see him the last way i

912
00:32:37,750 --> 00:32:34,399
found him

913
00:32:39,269 --> 00:32:37,760
uh you know dead his face all contorted

914
00:32:41,190 --> 00:32:39,279
i would only see that vision of him for

915
00:32:43,909 --> 00:32:41,200
the longest period of time now when i

916
00:32:46,070 --> 00:32:43,919
picture devin i picture his smiling face

917
00:32:47,909 --> 00:32:46,080
and i picture the best friend that i had

918
00:32:51,110 --> 00:32:47,919
in him that's what i see and i thank

919
00:32:54,710 --> 00:32:51,120
that to the emtr and the cbt that i

920
00:32:57,350 --> 00:32:54,720
received i especially the emtr though

921
00:32:59,509 --> 00:32:57,360
that's awesome yeah

922
00:33:01,110 --> 00:32:59,519
very neat it's it's it's cool that you

923
00:33:02,149 --> 00:33:01,120
explain that um

924
00:33:04,149 --> 00:33:02,159
it's

925
00:33:05,990 --> 00:33:04,159
you know i found that you know the mind

926
00:33:07,190 --> 00:33:06,000
is such a powerful thing and it goes

927
00:33:08,630 --> 00:33:07,200
both ways

928
00:33:10,630 --> 00:33:08,640
the um

929
00:33:13,350 --> 00:33:10,640
the diagnosis

930
00:33:16,149 --> 00:33:13,360
part of the book was like such a

931
00:33:17,909 --> 00:33:16,159
seemingly like just like ah the universe

932
00:33:18,870 --> 00:33:17,919
is so heartless you know

933
00:33:20,470 --> 00:33:18,880
um

934
00:33:22,549 --> 00:33:20,480
you can tell

935
00:33:24,950 --> 00:33:22,559
a lot from that part of the book and how

936
00:33:27,669 --> 00:33:24,960
the mind can

937
00:33:29,830 --> 00:33:27,679
bring about physical

938
00:33:32,310 --> 00:33:29,840
disruptions and issues

939
00:33:35,110 --> 00:33:32,320
and could we get into the diagnosis a

940
00:33:37,029 --> 00:33:35,120
bit um just kind of seeing

941
00:33:39,029 --> 00:33:37,039
not only you know did you see like you

942
00:33:41,430 --> 00:33:39,039
know the life and everything leave from

943
00:33:43,590 --> 00:33:41,440
derek but then you also kind of

944
00:33:45,509 --> 00:33:43,600
how how the part about him when he

945
00:33:47,990 --> 00:33:45,519
realized what was taking place how he

946
00:33:49,750 --> 00:33:48,000
just kind of bounced back and how it it

947
00:33:50,830 --> 00:33:49,760
kind of reinvigorated

948
00:33:52,549 --> 00:33:50,840
that life

949
00:33:54,070 --> 00:33:52,559
spark

950
00:33:55,190 --> 00:33:54,080
his diagnosis

951
00:33:56,950 --> 00:33:55,200
was

952
00:33:58,549 --> 00:33:56,960
absolutely

953
00:34:00,710 --> 00:33:58,559
unpredictable

954
00:34:02,789 --> 00:34:00,720
unforeseen

955
00:34:04,710 --> 00:34:02,799
my goodness the easiest way to explain

956
00:34:06,870 --> 00:34:04,720
it

957
00:34:09,270 --> 00:34:06,880
derek's best friend from from grade

958
00:34:13,190 --> 00:34:09,280
school was his physician

959
00:34:15,829 --> 00:34:13,200
um they were friends for over 40 years

960
00:34:18,550 --> 00:34:15,839
and when he was diet when brendan died

961
00:34:20,710 --> 00:34:18,560
he became his counselor and as well as

962
00:34:22,629 --> 00:34:20,720
his physician that man lived in his

963
00:34:24,710 --> 00:34:22,639
doctor's office he was there every two

964
00:34:26,230 --> 00:34:24,720
weeks for counseling he was every month

965
00:34:28,389 --> 00:34:26,240
getting blood work

966
00:34:29,669 --> 00:34:28,399
uh if and nobody if anybody should have

967
00:34:30,629 --> 00:34:29,679
gotten sick it should never have been

968
00:34:33,349 --> 00:34:30,639
him

969
00:34:35,270 --> 00:34:33,359
um his blood work as strange as this may

970
00:34:36,710 --> 00:34:35,280
sound he never never had elevated t

971
00:34:39,030 --> 00:34:36,720
cells

972
00:34:40,790 --> 00:34:39,040
and he also

973
00:34:43,669 --> 00:34:40,800
they found out that he had prostate

974
00:34:46,310 --> 00:34:43,679
cancer was the origin he was in that one

975
00:34:48,310 --> 00:34:46,320
percentile of a non-secretor

976
00:34:50,149 --> 00:34:48,320
so he never secreted excessive psa

977
00:34:52,470 --> 00:34:50,159
despite being tested

978
00:34:54,310 --> 00:34:52,480
so go i cannot figure for the life of me

979
00:34:55,589 --> 00:34:54,320
i've played this out in my mind

980
00:34:57,829 --> 00:34:55,599
that he was an al not only a

981
00:34:59,670 --> 00:34:57,839
non-secretor's psa he never showed any

982
00:35:00,550 --> 00:34:59,680
elevated t-cells to fight regular blood

983
00:35:02,870 --> 00:35:00,560
work

984
00:35:05,589 --> 00:35:02,880
and he had all of this what seemed like

985
00:35:07,670 --> 00:35:05,599
um inflammation or swelling if you

986
00:35:09,910 --> 00:35:07,680
looked at him he was also a man who

987
00:35:12,310 --> 00:35:09,920
he always took care of himself um before

988
00:35:13,430 --> 00:35:12,320
the boys died and

989
00:35:15,270 --> 00:35:13,440
since the death he started drinking

990
00:35:17,430 --> 00:35:15,280
excessively eating excessively doing

991
00:35:19,589 --> 00:35:17,440
everything sort of erratically for sure

992
00:35:21,430 --> 00:35:19,599
he had rapidly gained 50 pounds 40 to 50

993
00:35:22,710 --> 00:35:21,440
pounds so he had a lot of excess weight

994
00:35:23,910 --> 00:35:22,720
he was carrying but he also had this

995
00:35:26,470 --> 00:35:23,920
what looked like swelling in his

996
00:35:28,390 --> 00:35:26,480
shoulders and upper back and the doctors

997
00:35:30,230 --> 00:35:28,400
would say that you know it's stress this

998
00:35:31,829 --> 00:35:30,240
is tension you know they've got a lot of

999
00:35:33,270 --> 00:35:31,839
stress you know you carry stress in the

1000
00:35:35,030 --> 00:35:33,280
back of your neck and your shoulders

1001
00:35:36,790 --> 00:35:35,040
when you're you know you're stuck with

1002
00:35:38,550 --> 00:35:36,800
excessive grief you know like he's you

1003
00:35:39,670 --> 00:35:38,560
know what he's experienced was abnormal

1004
00:35:41,030 --> 00:35:39,680
you know people don't experience the

1005
00:35:43,109 --> 00:35:41,040
death of both of their children in six

1006
00:35:45,349 --> 00:35:43,119
months so they said you know this is a

1007
00:35:47,910 --> 00:35:45,359
very extreme case and to just you sign

1008
00:35:49,829 --> 00:35:47,920
up for massages and physiotherapy

1009
00:35:51,349 --> 00:35:49,839
and they they would try to work on this

1010
00:35:53,430 --> 00:35:51,359
and so we went for months you know just

1011
00:35:54,470 --> 00:35:53,440
massages and no release done a lot of

1012
00:35:56,390 --> 00:35:54,480
pain

1013
00:35:58,310 --> 00:35:56,400
um and so the doctor was like okay well

1014
00:36:00,390 --> 00:35:58,320
we're gonna send you for an extra then

1015
00:36:03,349 --> 00:36:00,400
we got to see what's going on

1016
00:36:06,069 --> 00:36:03,359
and my god the bone scan and x-ray when

1017
00:36:07,510 --> 00:36:06,079
it came back was black

1018
00:36:09,190 --> 00:36:07,520
his entire

1019
00:36:11,670 --> 00:36:09,200
cervical spine

1020
00:36:14,230 --> 00:36:11,680
shoulders pelvis

1021
00:36:17,990 --> 00:36:14,240
we're all just black on the screen full

1022
00:36:20,150 --> 00:36:18,000
of cancer full of metastatic cancer

1023
00:36:21,910 --> 00:36:20,160
so here was a man with no

1024
00:36:23,750 --> 00:36:21,920
signs of

1025
00:36:26,710 --> 00:36:23,760
cancer despite regular blood work and

1026
00:36:27,990 --> 00:36:26,720
doctor's visits who was now just

1027
00:36:30,790 --> 00:36:28,000
full

1028
00:36:31,750 --> 00:36:30,800
of metastatic cancer and his doctor's

1029
00:36:33,270 --> 00:36:31,760
visit

1030
00:36:36,069 --> 00:36:33,280
because we were very rapidly sent to an

1031
00:36:40,069 --> 00:36:36,079
oncologist upon that diagnosis

1032
00:36:41,030 --> 00:36:40,079
was you have six months to live

1033
00:36:43,750 --> 00:36:41,040
wow

1034
00:36:46,470 --> 00:36:43,760
yeah that part is so brutal it's it's

1035
00:36:50,710 --> 00:36:46,480
just so unbelievable that it's just you

1036
00:36:53,190 --> 00:36:50,720
know after seemingly unsurmountable

1037
00:36:55,750 --> 00:36:53,200
events and despair up to that point uh

1038
00:36:57,910 --> 00:36:55,760
that part was just like ah the universe

1039
00:37:00,230 --> 00:36:57,920
adding insult to injury but

1040
00:37:02,150 --> 00:37:00,240
you know i thought it was really cool um

1041
00:37:04,790 --> 00:37:02,160
the the the

1042
00:37:06,870 --> 00:37:04,800
kind of that reawakening or that you

1043
00:37:09,109 --> 00:37:06,880
know that he did kind of have a bucket

1044
00:37:10,870 --> 00:37:09,119
list that he filled at the end and

1045
00:37:13,670 --> 00:37:10,880
and you know bought a ferrari bought a

1046
00:37:15,910 --> 00:37:13,680
boat that was pretty cool

1047
00:37:18,870 --> 00:37:15,920
yeah he definitely um the funny thing

1048
00:37:21,430 --> 00:37:18,880
was he was so consumed with anger

1049
00:37:23,109 --> 00:37:21,440
um upon her lawsuit like her lawsuit

1050
00:37:25,910 --> 00:37:23,119
just oh

1051
00:37:27,910 --> 00:37:25,920
it sent it changed him into a monster

1052
00:37:29,750 --> 00:37:27,920
like as far as his personality went if

1053
00:37:32,470 --> 00:37:29,760
you knew him prior to

1054
00:37:33,750 --> 00:37:32,480
brandon's dad he was the kindest most

1055
00:37:36,470 --> 00:37:33,760
gentle

1056
00:37:39,430 --> 00:37:36,480
um funny you know he's always a joke for

1057
00:37:43,270 --> 00:37:39,440
everyone he laughed always laughing

1058
00:37:46,390 --> 00:37:43,280
um he turned into a nightmare like a

1059
00:37:47,349 --> 00:37:46,400
literal angry nightmare after that it

1060
00:37:48,550 --> 00:37:47,359
happened

1061
00:37:50,710 --> 00:37:48,560
and

1062
00:37:51,589 --> 00:37:50,720
i'm sorry i lost my training spot no for

1063
00:37:53,270 --> 00:37:51,599
sure

1064
00:37:55,190 --> 00:37:53,280
i lost my train of thought

1065
00:37:57,430 --> 00:37:55,200
what was the question

1066
00:37:58,550 --> 00:37:57,440
no you're right on point um i think i

1067
00:38:01,750 --> 00:37:58,560
think the

1068
00:38:04,630 --> 00:38:01,760
you know it's it's really cool how

1069
00:38:08,790 --> 00:38:04,640
the it seems like the strongest emotions

1070
00:38:11,589 --> 00:38:08,800
um bring about some of the strongest uh

1071
00:38:15,270 --> 00:38:11,599
kind of awakenings um in life

1072
00:38:17,030 --> 00:38:15,280
um that you you outline in the book yeah

1073
00:38:19,670 --> 00:38:17,040
yeah what i want to say was that after

1074
00:38:21,109 --> 00:38:19,680
he after that anger after he realized he

1075
00:38:22,550 --> 00:38:21,119
was diagnosed like it was almost a

1076
00:38:24,710 --> 00:38:22,560
moment of shock

1077
00:38:26,470 --> 00:38:24,720
it was it was it was a moment it was a

1078
00:38:28,790 --> 00:38:26,480
moment of shock

1079
00:38:31,349 --> 00:38:28,800
and well more than a moment probably you

1080
00:38:33,510 --> 00:38:31,359
know a few weeks of shock but then after

1081
00:38:35,030 --> 00:38:33,520
that it was like

1082
00:38:38,390 --> 00:38:35,040
they offered him what was called a

1083
00:38:39,990 --> 00:38:38,400
stampede trial um they said well you can

1084
00:38:42,390 --> 00:38:40,000
live you can take your chances and you

1085
00:38:43,829 --> 00:38:42,400
can live for six months and um in the

1086
00:38:45,670 --> 00:38:43,839
state that you're in right now well

1087
00:38:48,630 --> 00:38:45,680
you'll be in quite a bit of pain with

1088
00:38:51,670 --> 00:38:48,640
heavy medication or you can do you can

1089
00:38:54,150 --> 00:38:51,680
try what's called a stampede trial um

1090
00:38:55,829 --> 00:38:54,160
and that was giving him nine months of

1091
00:38:57,349 --> 00:38:55,839
chemo and nine months of radiation i

1092
00:38:58,870 --> 00:38:57,359
said we'll buy you about 18 months of

1093
00:39:01,349 --> 00:38:58,880
time

1094
00:39:03,750 --> 00:39:01,359
and so he was all for that but honestly

1095
00:39:06,950 --> 00:39:03,760
he was not ready to die all of a sudden

1096
00:39:09,270 --> 00:39:06,960
he wanted to live we went to the ucsf in

1097
00:39:12,390 --> 00:39:09,280
san francisco trying to find ways for

1098
00:39:15,270 --> 00:39:12,400
immunotherapy i we contacted the mayo

1099
00:39:17,349 --> 00:39:15,280
clinic i contacted john hopkins

1100
00:39:19,190 --> 00:39:17,359
i was on a

1101
00:39:20,950 --> 00:39:19,200
and i said and his x-rays and his test

1102
00:39:21,910 --> 00:39:20,960
to every major hospital in the united

1103
00:39:24,069 --> 00:39:21,920
states

1104
00:39:26,310 --> 00:39:24,079
and unfortunately the diagnosis came

1105
00:39:27,750 --> 00:39:26,320
back all the same that um it's just part

1106
00:39:29,750 --> 00:39:27,760
of two parts

1107
00:39:31,190 --> 00:39:29,760
if if there was hope if there was a

1108
00:39:33,670 --> 00:39:31,200
chance because immunotherapy works very

1109
00:39:36,230 --> 00:39:33,680
very well if it's contained to an organ

1110
00:39:38,710 --> 00:39:36,240
or a spot that they can just target that

1111
00:39:41,270 --> 00:39:38,720
therapy to that area but it was in its

1112
00:39:43,750 --> 00:39:41,280
bones and once it's in your bones um

1113
00:39:45,670 --> 00:39:43,760
unfortunately all they can do is

1114
00:39:47,510 --> 00:39:45,680
make you comfortable for the pain and

1115
00:39:49,109 --> 00:39:47,520
even even then um there's very little

1116
00:39:49,910 --> 00:39:49,119
they can do for the pain the pain it's

1117
00:39:51,750 --> 00:39:49,920
just

1118
00:39:53,349 --> 00:39:51,760
i can attest to

1119
00:39:55,190 --> 00:39:53,359
seeing somebody who had a very high pain

1120
00:39:57,270 --> 00:39:55,200
tolerance just in tears a lot of time

1121
00:39:59,270 --> 00:39:57,280
the pain was just extreme

1122
00:40:00,550 --> 00:39:59,280
that was very hard to watch but at the

1123
00:40:02,230 --> 00:40:00,560
same time though

1124
00:40:03,829 --> 00:40:02,240
even though he could barely sit because

1125
00:40:04,950 --> 00:40:03,839
it wasn't his spine he bought himself a

1126
00:40:06,230 --> 00:40:04,960
ferrari

1127
00:40:10,230 --> 00:40:06,240
he bought a

1128
00:40:12,630 --> 00:40:10,240
football at the time traded that in on a

1129
00:40:15,349 --> 00:40:12,640
50-something foot carver that's awesome

1130
00:40:17,270 --> 00:40:15,359
spent a year and a half on the water

1131
00:40:18,870 --> 00:40:17,280
barely came home we're just basically

1132
00:40:20,790 --> 00:40:18,880
went from we used to be on the weekend

1133
00:40:22,630 --> 00:40:20,800
every on the weekend on the water every

1134
00:40:24,710 --> 00:40:22,640
weekend now as we're on the water

1135
00:40:25,829 --> 00:40:24,720
constantly very very very rarely coming

1136
00:40:26,790 --> 00:40:25,839
home

1137
00:40:28,150 --> 00:40:26,800
um

1138
00:40:29,750 --> 00:40:28,160
and he really did enjoy himself there

1139
00:40:31,190 --> 00:40:29,760
was places he wanted to travel to he had

1140
00:40:33,190 --> 00:40:31,200
bucket list places he wanted to travel

1141
00:40:35,430 --> 00:40:33,200
like greece and a few other places but

1142
00:40:37,270 --> 00:40:35,440
flying was not an option at that point

1143
00:40:39,589 --> 00:40:37,280
so that part didn't get didn't get done

1144
00:40:41,750 --> 00:40:39,599
but uh honestly he

1145
00:40:43,750 --> 00:40:41,760
he did he lived very well and despite

1146
00:40:45,510 --> 00:40:43,760
the pain that he was in he he drank out

1147
00:40:46,790 --> 00:40:45,520
and he enjoyed his blind up until the

1148
00:40:48,150 --> 00:40:46,800
point of where he couldn't taste it

1149
00:40:49,829 --> 00:40:48,160
anymore because

1150
00:40:51,510 --> 00:40:49,839
uh chemotherapy does funny things to

1151
00:40:53,990 --> 00:40:51,520
your taste buds and you couldn't taste

1152
00:40:55,589 --> 00:40:54,000
the wine anymore but he did enjoy

1153
00:40:57,270 --> 00:40:55,599
and the only thing probably that he

1154
00:40:58,309 --> 00:40:57,280
didn't get to do was the traveling part

1155
00:41:00,150 --> 00:40:58,319
so

1156
00:41:02,150 --> 00:41:00,160
yeah and even at the very end most

1157
00:41:04,550 --> 00:41:02,160
people don't get this choice but he had

1158
00:41:06,069 --> 00:41:04,560
a living wake where

1159
00:41:08,710 --> 00:41:06,079
while he was still healthy about six

1160
00:41:10,309 --> 00:41:08,720
months before his death he was he

1161
00:41:12,150 --> 00:41:10,319
threw awake um i think there was

1162
00:41:13,109 --> 00:41:12,160
probably 200 people in our backyard

1163
00:41:15,030 --> 00:41:13,119
tents

1164
00:41:16,870 --> 00:41:15,040
there was uh people were camping out in

1165
00:41:20,069 --> 00:41:16,880
the backyard there was a pig roast there

1166
00:41:21,510 --> 00:41:20,079
was a giant tent uh over in the corner

1167
00:41:23,349 --> 00:41:21,520
there are people people a whole bunch of

1168
00:41:25,670 --> 00:41:23,359
people stayed over and spent the night

1169
00:41:28,630 --> 00:41:25,680
and spent the weekend actually

1170
00:41:30,309 --> 00:41:28,640
and he got to and he got to die on his

1171
00:41:32,230 --> 00:41:30,319
own terms i guess he even did a dive off

1172
00:41:34,069 --> 00:41:32,240
of the diving board despite having all

1173
00:41:36,150 --> 00:41:34,079
of that cancer in his body he dove off

1174
00:41:38,309 --> 00:41:36,160
the diving board um and people

1175
00:41:40,230 --> 00:41:38,319
videotaped that to his friends so they

1176
00:41:45,670 --> 00:41:40,240
got to keep that sort of memory but in a

1177
00:41:48,950 --> 00:41:47,270
so there i guess that's doing it your

1178
00:41:50,550 --> 00:41:48,960
way sorry anything and that was that was

1179
00:41:53,030 --> 00:41:50,560
the song i was playing in the background

1180
00:41:57,829 --> 00:41:53,040
my way by frank sinatra so there you go

1181
00:41:59,349 --> 00:41:57,839
so cool it is so cool and it really um

1182
00:42:02,950 --> 00:41:59,359
it did kind of take you there it was a

1183
00:42:04,710 --> 00:42:02,960
moment of happiness and the methods that

1184
00:42:07,190 --> 00:42:04,720
you know were used at that it just

1185
00:42:09,190 --> 00:42:07,200
sounds so awesome and so before we wrap

1186
00:42:12,630 --> 00:42:09,200
up i really wanted to

1187
00:42:14,390 --> 00:42:12,640
kind of hit home uh just how important

1188
00:42:15,670 --> 00:42:14,400
you know it is to

1189
00:42:18,309 --> 00:42:15,680
and you go into this into the book you

1190
00:42:20,630 --> 00:42:18,319
know eat nutritious foods exercise daily

1191
00:42:23,829 --> 00:42:20,640
just live life a day at a time and

1192
00:42:26,150 --> 00:42:23,839
and um how the strongest emotion you

1193
00:42:28,710 --> 00:42:26,160
know how how today is

1194
00:42:30,390 --> 00:42:28,720
you just have such gratitude and all the

1195
00:42:32,150 --> 00:42:30,400
great people that have been brought into

1196
00:42:34,230 --> 00:42:32,160
your life today and

1197
00:42:38,150 --> 00:42:34,240
you know really how you felt a spiritual

1198
00:42:40,309 --> 00:42:38,160
awakening um by all of this

1199
00:42:41,510 --> 00:42:40,319
oh my goodness that is so true

1200
00:42:46,470 --> 00:42:41,520
there was

1201
00:42:49,030 --> 00:42:46,480
um there passed away in december

1202
00:42:51,349 --> 00:42:49,040
and there was i feel like i slept for

1203
00:42:53,030 --> 00:42:51,359
almost a month straight my beautiful

1204
00:42:54,710 --> 00:42:53,040
sister-in-law came and stayed with me

1205
00:42:56,710 --> 00:42:54,720
and she looked after the house and kept

1206
00:42:58,630 --> 00:42:56,720
an eye on the kids and fed everybody

1207
00:43:01,190 --> 00:42:58,640
made sure everything ran properly and i

1208
00:43:02,150 --> 00:43:01,200
just left i slept and i slept and i

1209
00:43:04,870 --> 00:43:02,160
slept

1210
00:43:07,510 --> 00:43:04,880
i was just i think so mentally drained

1211
00:43:09,349 --> 00:43:07,520
and i woke up one day and

1212
00:43:10,790 --> 00:43:09,359
i just felt different

1213
00:43:12,790 --> 00:43:10,800
i don't know how to describe it other

1214
00:43:14,150 --> 00:43:12,800
than the fact that i just felt lighter i

1215
00:43:15,750 --> 00:43:14,160
felt

1216
00:43:17,910 --> 00:43:15,760
different and

1217
00:43:20,470 --> 00:43:17,920
i knew that day

1218
00:43:21,270 --> 00:43:20,480
that everything was going to be okay

1219
00:43:23,109 --> 00:43:21,280
and

1220
00:43:25,349 --> 00:43:23,119
i went from being an extreme introvert

1221
00:43:27,589 --> 00:43:25,359
where i barely had left the house i felt

1222
00:43:31,190 --> 00:43:27,599
like i hadn't left the house in years

1223
00:43:32,470 --> 00:43:31,200
to all of a sudden thinking okay i can i

1224
00:43:34,069 --> 00:43:32,480
can get out there again i can start

1225
00:43:36,470 --> 00:43:34,079
talking to people

1226
00:43:37,910 --> 00:43:36,480
and i did i started i went out there i

1227
00:43:41,109 --> 00:43:37,920
started to talk to people i started

1228
00:43:44,150 --> 00:43:41,119
taking a couple of courses um

1229
00:43:46,309 --> 00:43:44,160
i met new people i met new friends who

1230
00:43:48,069 --> 00:43:46,319
introduced me to new people one of which

1231
00:43:50,150 --> 00:43:48,079
is my wonderful partner who i'm with now

1232
00:43:51,430 --> 00:43:50,160
scott yeah somebody who i never would

1233
00:43:53,030 --> 00:43:51,440
have met

1234
00:43:55,829 --> 00:43:53,040
in normal everyday life because i'm a

1235
00:43:58,710 --> 00:43:55,839
very quiet private sort of person and my

1236
00:43:59,829 --> 00:43:58,720
friend emily um who i who i've known for

1237
00:44:02,710 --> 00:43:59,839
a few months

1238
00:44:05,750 --> 00:44:02,720
she uh she was just like lisa i i think

1239
00:44:08,630 --> 00:44:05,760
i know the most wonderful person for you

1240
00:44:10,630 --> 00:44:08,640
and i was like oh my goodness i

1241
00:44:12,150 --> 00:44:10,640
even even though i had only been on my

1242
00:44:15,270 --> 00:44:12,160
own for a few months i felt like i'd

1243
00:44:16,550 --> 00:44:15,280
been on my own for years honestly um

1244
00:44:19,510 --> 00:44:16,560
i had to

1245
00:44:22,470 --> 00:44:19,520
i was i've been i was

1246
00:44:23,670 --> 00:44:22,480
very happy to meet new people

1247
00:44:26,790 --> 00:44:23,680
so cool

1248
00:44:30,390 --> 00:44:26,800
it's such an unbelievably amazing story

1249
00:44:32,790 --> 00:44:30,400
and it is so true how

1250
00:44:34,550 --> 00:44:32,800
series of events bring such a powerful

1251
00:44:36,309 --> 00:44:34,560
truth you know and

1252
00:44:38,069 --> 00:44:36,319
and how sometimes you really have to

1253
00:44:39,589 --> 00:44:38,079
kind of walk through the darkness to get

1254
00:44:41,829 --> 00:44:39,599
to the light and

1255
00:44:44,470 --> 00:44:41,839
um lisa i can't thank you enough for

1256
00:44:47,030 --> 00:44:44,480
your contribution of this book uh by

1257
00:44:48,790 --> 00:44:47,040
means of just writing it and also

1258
00:44:50,710 --> 00:44:48,800
thanks so much very much for explaining

1259
00:44:52,790 --> 00:44:50,720
it on this podcast

1260
00:44:54,710 --> 00:44:52,800
before we wrap up where can listeners

1261
00:44:58,230 --> 00:44:54,720
pick your book up where can they keep up

1262
00:44:59,990 --> 00:44:58,240
with you and what you have going on

1263
00:45:04,230 --> 00:45:00,000
i have a few different things going on i

1264
00:45:05,030 --> 00:45:04,240
have a website at www.lisamachinist.com

1265
00:45:07,109 --> 00:45:05,040
that

1266
00:45:08,870 --> 00:45:07,119
explains the book it explains there's

1267
00:45:11,430 --> 00:45:08,880
quite a few newspaper articles and media

1268
00:45:13,430 --> 00:45:11,440
articles on that page as well if they're

1269
00:45:15,190 --> 00:45:13,440
interested in the backstory and it kind

1270
00:45:17,430 --> 00:45:15,200
of travels around the world at one point

1271
00:45:19,190 --> 00:45:17,440
there's articles even from australia i

1272
00:45:22,230 --> 00:45:19,200
believe on the website

1273
00:45:23,910 --> 00:45:22,240
um as well as it's available on amazon

1274
00:45:26,150 --> 00:45:23,920
and

1275
00:45:27,750 --> 00:45:26,160
it's on available on cobol

1276
00:45:31,349 --> 00:45:27,760
smashbook

1277
00:45:33,190 --> 00:45:31,359
as well as kindle

1278
00:45:36,790 --> 00:45:33,200
very cool

1279
00:45:38,950 --> 00:45:36,800
and it appears you are or maybe writing

1280
00:45:40,710 --> 00:45:38,960
another non-fiction book that is highly

1281
00:45:43,030 --> 00:45:40,720
anticipated can you give us a little

1282
00:45:45,190 --> 00:45:43,040
teaser on that

1283
00:45:47,190 --> 00:45:45,200
i'm actually working on two books at the

1284
00:45:49,990 --> 00:45:47,200
moment i'm not sure if i want to make a

1285
00:45:52,550 --> 00:45:50,000
continuation of this book to be my next

1286
00:45:54,069 --> 00:45:52,560
book or if i want to be the new one that

1287
00:45:56,550 --> 00:45:54,079
i'm working on the new one that i'm

1288
00:45:57,430 --> 00:45:56,560
working on has absolutely nothing to do

1289
00:45:59,190 --> 00:45:57,440
with

1290
00:46:00,870 --> 00:45:59,200
the majuti curse

1291
00:46:03,190 --> 00:46:00,880
the but the second one that i'm writing

1292
00:46:04,790 --> 00:46:03,200
as a sequel to this one is about grief

1293
00:46:05,829 --> 00:46:04,800
and it's about the aftershock but it's

1294
00:46:08,790 --> 00:46:05,839
more about

1295
00:46:10,870 --> 00:46:08,800
positivity and carrying on forward the

1296
00:46:13,349 --> 00:46:10,880
reason why i think i might put that one

1297
00:46:14,470 --> 00:46:13,359
out next is because i've had a lot of

1298
00:46:15,670 --> 00:46:14,480
feedback

1299
00:46:18,630 --> 00:46:15,680
from

1300
00:46:19,990 --> 00:46:18,640
women and men but more so women who

1301
00:46:20,950 --> 00:46:20,000
are you still there

1302
00:46:23,430 --> 00:46:20,960
no

1303
00:46:25,349 --> 00:46:23,440
yep i'm here okay

1304
00:46:28,390 --> 00:46:25,359
more so women who are struggling with

1305
00:46:31,270 --> 00:46:28,400
grief and depression and anxiety some

1306
00:46:32,950 --> 00:46:31,280
have lost children some their spouses

1307
00:46:34,390 --> 00:46:32,960
and i just feel like wow i think i have

1308
00:46:36,150 --> 00:46:34,400
so much information that i can share

1309
00:46:38,710 --> 00:46:36,160
that i think i can help people

1310
00:46:41,510 --> 00:46:38,720
and i think i might even start i have a

1311
00:46:43,430 --> 00:46:41,520
web i have a an author website lisa

1312
00:46:45,990 --> 00:46:43,440
mckinnis author and i think i'm going to

1313
00:46:49,270 --> 00:46:46,000
start a blog on there for people that

1314
00:46:50,790 --> 00:46:49,280
are suffering from grief or ptsd and i

1315
00:46:52,710 --> 00:46:50,800
think i will help people that way as

1316
00:46:55,990 --> 00:46:52,720
well with my blog

1317
00:46:58,790 --> 00:46:56,000
yeah for sure it is i definitely see

1318
00:47:01,670 --> 00:46:58,800
that because this book is such it's it's

1319
00:47:03,109 --> 00:47:01,680
just it's it's such an awakening book it

1320
00:47:08,230 --> 00:47:03,119
really

1321
00:47:10,550 --> 00:47:08,240
the book helped me like

1322
00:47:12,630 --> 00:47:10,560
understand so much about life and you're

1323
00:47:15,430 --> 00:47:12,640
the best thanks for all you've done you

1324
00:47:17,589 --> 00:47:15,440
do and will be doing um thanks again for

1325
00:47:19,190 --> 00:47:17,599
coming on the podcast and all the best

1326
00:47:20,790 --> 00:47:19,200
in your ventures i hope we talk again

1327
00:47:22,390 --> 00:47:20,800
soon

1328
00:47:23,910 --> 00:47:22,400
thank you so much for having me ryan

1329
00:47:25,750 --> 00:47:23,920
it's been wonderful talking to you i was

1330
00:47:27,589 --> 00:47:25,760
so nervous at first but you just made it

1331
00:47:29,829 --> 00:47:27,599
so easy

1332
00:47:32,950 --> 00:47:29,839
there it is guys a book you definitely

1333
00:47:35,109 --> 00:47:32,960
need to pick up the majewski curse by

1334
00:47:36,069 --> 00:47:35,119
lisa diane mcginnis

1335
00:47:37,349 --> 00:47:36,079
it is

1336
00:47:41,109 --> 00:47:37,359
definitely

1337
00:47:43,510 --> 00:47:41,119
a book that shows how quickly life can

1338
00:47:46,069 --> 00:47:43,520
just disintegrate and how to pick up the

1339
00:47:48,470 --> 00:47:46,079
pieces and look on the bright side of

1340
00:47:49,349 --> 00:47:48,480
everything and how amazing you can make

1341
00:47:53,349 --> 00:47:49,359
life

1342
00:47:54,870 --> 00:47:53,359
so many tricks on and hacks on how to

1343
00:47:55,910 --> 00:47:54,880
make your life better

1344
00:47:58,470 --> 00:47:55,920
that are

1345
00:48:00,790 --> 00:47:58,480
interwoven throughout the entire book

1346
00:48:03,109 --> 00:48:00,800
uh it's also quite the page turner and i

1347
00:48:05,510 --> 00:48:03,119
think it's something that everyone needs

1348
00:48:07,910 --> 00:48:05,520
to read so until next time keep your

1349
00:48:19,020 --> 00:48:07,920
eyes to the skies feet on the ground but

1350
00:48:19,030 --> 00:48:26,710
[Music]

1351
00:48:32,710 --> 00:48:29,589
come blast off in my time machine third

1352
00:48:35,880 --> 00:48:32,720
eye feeling like an evil blast off

1353
00:48:35,890 --> 00:48:42,870
[Music]